13/07: Ben's Black Belt Moment
It had been a week or so since my black belt grading and it was time to get back into training. The bruises had faded and the sprains had eased.
The day at work had been busy and I was tired and on the bus on the way home from Town Hall train station to Glebe. My first night back was going to be the Tuesday double at Balmain - joining Rach and Matt in wearing the black gi. I was also a bit nervous and wondered if anything would change in me or in my approach to training. I was daydreaming and distracted.
The bus was full of seated people when it stopped and some more passengers boarded. Alongside me, I half perceived a guy, and I remember thinking - "This man is angry, I can feel it radiating off him", and then I smelt alcohol and a sour smell.
I had a look at the bloke. He was not big, but he looked annoyed, and angry. Spoiling for a fight. Right alongside me.
Across the aisle was an old Asian lady. Frail and small. The angry guy looked at her and said some very rude and racist things, very loudly and then said "**** yeah, I'm a racist". Everything went quiet and he was right alongside me, but I was sitting.
A lot of things went through my head, chief of which was "What do I want my part in this situation to be?" I did not have any huge clarity but I resolved just to observe. But, almost automatically, I took off my glasses and put them in my bag.
When I looked back up the angry guy was staring down at me. He said "You got a ****ing problem mate?".
Pause.
There is a "look" which the black belts have on their faces when they are interacting in a technique. It is a look of intensity and focus and will and purpose. It is not angry but neutral with weight and significance. All the black belts in my lead up to grading with Stan encouraged us to obtain that focus and intensity.
So I gave the angry guy a little of the "look" and said calmly and firmly "No mate, I have no problem, do you?"
Angry guy "Yeah I got heaps of ****ing problems" etc. But he moves away to a seat at the front of the bus.
He then starts to "eyeball" me, but I don't meet his gaze, instead keeping him in the peripheral of my view.
The bus halts at the next stop - Central, Railway Square. The angry guy stands up, says loudly "Come on hard man, why don't you follow me off the bus?"
I just "looked" at him, focused and stayed prepared. He mouthed off some more, but with each phrase he backed away, until he hopped off the bus. The driver quickly shut the doors, and then a few more passengers began to comment about the whole affair.
Outside, the angry bloke, was ranting something like "C'mon hard man" as the bus pulled away.
For a few moments, the heart beat was racing, but very quickly I had shed the whole thing. I was back worrying about whether the bus would get to Glebe in time for me to make 6.30pm class!
Afterwards I reflected that it was little "black belt moment" - nothing too huge, not even life or death. But every element of what we train had come into play. Awareness. Observation. Preparation. Dealing with the needs of the moment. Only doing what was necessary. Neutrality. Coming back to zero.
And it was very automatic, and it works.
Ben.
(Northstar Black Belt)
The day at work had been busy and I was tired and on the bus on the way home from Town Hall train station to Glebe. My first night back was going to be the Tuesday double at Balmain - joining Rach and Matt in wearing the black gi. I was also a bit nervous and wondered if anything would change in me or in my approach to training. I was daydreaming and distracted.
The bus was full of seated people when it stopped and some more passengers boarded. Alongside me, I half perceived a guy, and I remember thinking - "This man is angry, I can feel it radiating off him", and then I smelt alcohol and a sour smell.
I had a look at the bloke. He was not big, but he looked annoyed, and angry. Spoiling for a fight. Right alongside me.
Across the aisle was an old Asian lady. Frail and small. The angry guy looked at her and said some very rude and racist things, very loudly and then said "**** yeah, I'm a racist". Everything went quiet and he was right alongside me, but I was sitting.
A lot of things went through my head, chief of which was "What do I want my part in this situation to be?" I did not have any huge clarity but I resolved just to observe. But, almost automatically, I took off my glasses and put them in my bag.
When I looked back up the angry guy was staring down at me. He said "You got a ****ing problem mate?".
Pause.
There is a "look" which the black belts have on their faces when they are interacting in a technique. It is a look of intensity and focus and will and purpose. It is not angry but neutral with weight and significance. All the black belts in my lead up to grading with Stan encouraged us to obtain that focus and intensity.
So I gave the angry guy a little of the "look" and said calmly and firmly "No mate, I have no problem, do you?"
Angry guy "Yeah I got heaps of ****ing problems" etc. But he moves away to a seat at the front of the bus.
He then starts to "eyeball" me, but I don't meet his gaze, instead keeping him in the peripheral of my view.
The bus halts at the next stop - Central, Railway Square. The angry guy stands up, says loudly "Come on hard man, why don't you follow me off the bus?"
I just "looked" at him, focused and stayed prepared. He mouthed off some more, but with each phrase he backed away, until he hopped off the bus. The driver quickly shut the doors, and then a few more passengers began to comment about the whole affair.
Outside, the angry bloke, was ranting something like "C'mon hard man" as the bus pulled away.
For a few moments, the heart beat was racing, but very quickly I had shed the whole thing. I was back worrying about whether the bus would get to Glebe in time for me to make 6.30pm class!
Afterwards I reflected that it was little "black belt moment" - nothing too huge, not even life or death. But every element of what we train had come into play. Awareness. Observation. Preparation. Dealing with the needs of the moment. Only doing what was necessary. Neutrality. Coming back to zero.
And it was very automatic, and it works.
Ben.
(Northstar Black Belt)
